The Cow And I

No Beef Left Behind

Something was bothering me, I just couldn't figure out what. Was it the climate control in the house? No, that was a perfect 70 degrees. Did I clean up the puzzle pieces left by my nephew on the living room floor? No, they were in a box, in the drawer. Had I forgotten to: pick up the dry cleaning? return the DVD? unload the dishwasher? No, No, and Of Course (nothing out of the ordinary there). So what was it?

I forgot my anxiety for a while, did some blogging and called a friend about something or another. He didn't have much to say, as he was in the middle of a pizza dinner. Ah, that sounds good, I thought, and it made me hungry just thinking about it.

Then it hit me.

The little nagging twinge in the back of my mind suddenly came roaring to the fore, and I realized I'd forgotten something significant indeed:

My Steak!

I pulled it out of the oven and observed the wizened, heat-withered remains of dinner. It floated in a lake of grease that had leaked out of its once-succulent depths to the bottom of the pan. The broiler had cooked it through, and there was simply no need to turn the meat over. Ah, the ruination!

My heart sank at this wretched sight. How could I do such a thing? But then I steeled myself as I remembered the promise made to myself in January - no matter how big or small, raw or cooked, fresh or fetid, no beef would be left behind on my watch.

That's right. Promises made are promises kept, as far as I'm concerned. This contest is about the meat, all of it, and any scrap forsaken would come back to haunt me if I were to be so unlucky as to taste defeat at year's end. Turning my back on this blackened husk of flesh would represent a horrible turning point, beyond which I would be capable of any measure of self-defeat.

No sir, I will keep my promise!

But let me tell you, some promises are pretty hard to keep. Particularly after running out of dental floss.

Posted by eric at June 28, 2004 02:10 PM