June 08, 2004
Hamburger Heaven
I've eaten a lot of hamburger recently.
First, there's the Mustard's variety.
They're pretty good. Thick and juicy. And cooked on the griddle by an enormous man, most likely an NFL lineman with bad knees. He must eat a lot of his own work.
Then there's the piddling steak-n-shake variety. They sell a Double Burger. Just enough for a snack, but hardly a meal.
Even when I asked for a doubling up of doubles, and they delivered the "Quad" to my car as I waited patiently, it wasn't enough:
No, the best kind of burger is the kind I make. Roughly 6 oz per patty, pan-fried occasionally, grilled just as often. I use extra-lean meat to ensure a healthier meal and minimal meat weight loss during the cooking process.
Gimme a home-cooked burger any time. Or maybe three, what the hell.
I have to admit, I pity my opponent. Stranded in restaurant after restaurant, no home-cooked meals in mind, let alone in sight. How does he do it? I sit here at home, belly full of meat cooked by my own hand, pride in my cookmanship, and I shed a few lonely tears for him. When I imagine his deprivations, I resolve to cherish my time here, every minute, in my hamburger heaven.
Posted by eric at June 8, 2004 12:29 PM