The Cow And I

Fortunately

I've felt a little down on my luck recently. I've dug in deep, hammered away at chuck, strip, flank, loin, round, porterhouse, ribeye, all of it in massive quantities and, despite all this, I haven't been able to close the gap. Always hovering between 1 and 3 kilos, not quite close enough to drag my opponent down by the throat.

It doesn't help when I'm screwed out of an opportunity to add significant weight to my total. Take my lunch today, for example. The beef and snow peas was not only rancid, and accompanied by suspiciously flavored rice (not to mention the fried turd at the top of the picture), but the total beef was only about 5 ounces. Heck, I could've packed away 12, easy.

My opponent is, right now, pulling massive slabs of meat from his newly purchased cooler while lounging on a grill-equipped scuba boat in the Great Barrier Reef. He has undoubtedly planned well for these few days at sea. And this opportunity, for me, has been wasted. Yet again.

Fortunately, not all meals end badly. Yes, fortunately, dessert was much more enjoyable, as I received a very pleasant, albeit cryptic note:

Now what do you suppose that means?

Posted by eric at April 1, 2004 04:42 PM