March 23, 2004
London is Broiling
My opponent and I may have a sharp difference of opinion about this, but I believe this contest should serve the public good to the extent that we have the opportunity to provide such a service. In particular, when there appears some educational potential in the course of our discussion, it is our responsibility to take on a more professorial role. Thus, although my opponent may wish to cover all the land in darkness, I wish to shed some light on the subject of beef, in all of its highly intriguing permutations.
For example, tonight, I had a wonderful meal. It's not hard to guess what I had: beef, of course. But it was the kind of beef that really mattered: London Broil. Please do try some, if you have the chance. You'll be glad you did. I slurped up this 11.4 oz prize with relative abandon. And why wouldn't I? It's one of my favorite cuts.
Many of us have had the London Broil cut, and we count ourselves among the lucky. For this cut of meat is among the most savory. I recall those many Sunday afternoons of my youth when my father would make a special trip to the butcher, ask for this succulent meat by name, and bring it home to grill. The tangy marinade would mix with the juices oozing from the cut to form a finger-licking sauce. Ah, the memories.
Tonight, after eating such a fantastic meal, I sat on the couch, torpid from my gastronomic excess, and reflected on what the London Broil cut meant to me, as a meat-eater, and as a member of a family whose happiness, for so many years, was in part due to this famous cut of meat. And that's where I should have remained. I should've left well enough alone. But I didn't.
I had to go online to poke around on beef sites, to learn more about the storied London Broil cut. And I learned more than I bargained for. I learned that all these years, I had been living a lie. My childhood memories, my adult indulgences in this succulent cut were false, a house of cards that has fallen in front of my weeping eyes.
You see, the London Broil cut is not a cut at all. The term "London Broil" refers to a cooking method. What a sham! All these years, and not a clue. I wanted to call my father, to tell him the news, but he's surely gone to sleep by now over in Pennsylvania. And what good would it do to wake him up just to tell him that he, and by extension the whole family, had been hoodwinked for an entire generation? No, better to leave him blissfully unaware that the foundation upon which so many Sunday dinners rested was made of nought but shifting sands.
I told you I was going to provide some educational content, so here it is: a London Broil is usually either Top Round Steak or Top Round Roast. The characteristics common to most London Broil Recipes call for: (a) marinating the beef, (b) broiling the beef to medium rare in a oven or grilling the beef to medium rare and (c) slicing the finished dish thinly, across the grain, at a 45 degree angle.
There it is. For those reading this entry, my loss is your gain. All that I knew, all that I was, has changed, irrevocably. I can never go back to those innocent times.
But you, dear reader, are now armed with more advance-level knowledge about beef that, for all the pain it has caused me, should set you free from the shackles of ignorance. I bid you go, out into the world, to London even, and shout this story from the rooftops! The people deserve to know the truth.
Posted by eric at March 23, 2004 11:48 AM