March 25, 2004
In the Kitchen with Eric
Creamed Chipped Beef on Toast. You better believe it's good, for breakfast, lunch or dinner. But in the hands of a dilettante, it can be an absolute disaster. I don't want that to happen to you, as it has for so many others, so I'd like to share with you my secret recipe:
You start with some chipped beef. Shred it with your fingers or, if it's frozen, don't hesitate to get out the utility scissors. Do this when your spouse isn't looking, because she also uses these same shears for cutting wrapping paper for birthday presents. Fry it up with butter until crispy. This is about 3 oz, a mere taste of beef.
Add flour. Try to sift this in, not dump it into the pan all at once. Please. This is not a contest to see who can cook creamed chipped beef on toast the fastest. Nobody is keeping score. Also, don't eat the flour straight from the spoon. It works better in the dish.
Adding milk gets tricky. Add just enough that the scraps of meat are just poking out above the surface. If you add too much, the whole thing will taste like soup. Add too little and you'll be gagging from a decidedly pasty consistency. Which may be ok in other contexts, but not here.
Let the milk boil until the whole mixture starts to thicken up. You'll now note that the creamed chipped beef medium has a beige, organic tone, wholly unlike some of the rancid, bleached varieties found in countless breakfast joints across the nation. This lightly golden hue is due entirely to following Step 1: butter-frying the shredded beef. Following directions, even for Creamed Chipped Beef on Toast, is a recipe for success.
Toast some bread. Any bread will do. It is, after all, merely a delivery vehicle for the creamed chipped beef. Apply the slightly lumpy, creamy mixture to the toast. Be sure to suck on the spoon with lip-smacking sounds as you scrape down the edges of the pan, like a proper gourmand.
Last of all, enjoy.
