March 29, 2004
Big Fuckin Sandwich
I'm so sorry, but sometimes it's not possible to adequately convey my sentiments about the food I eat without resorting to profanity. I do realize it's awfully untoward of me. I hope you understand.
Take today's lunch, for example.
Seriously, though, packed with 8 oz of corned beef, isn't this a big fuckin sandwich?
I didn't realize just how big it was until my colossal meal became a matter of office discussion. It all started when my colleague happened by during his lunch break and spied me trying to encircle my mouth around its magnificent contours. He appeared to be impressed with its girth as he, too, described it as a "big fuckin sandwich." He asked for a second opinion on this. The unsuspecting co-worker, pulled aside from collating a report, took one look at it and agreed that, yes, this was indeed one big fuckin sandwich. He also added, in the spirit of camaraderie, that if I keep eating big fuckin sandwiches like that I'd be sure to win BeefStakes. I replied that he was probably right.
The receptionist soon got into the debate. Well, debate is not the right word, because everyone agreed. This was one big fuckin sandwich, it was their unanimous opinion.
The sandwich eventually got cold as I patiently, respectfully indulged their collective need to explain to me how big this big fuckin sandwich actually was.
But eventually, my colleagues decided they had other things to do. So, after all the attention subsided, I could again concentrate on eating my big fuckin sandwich.
Needless to say, it took a while.
Posted by eric at March 29, 2004 01:06 PM