The Cow And I

Make that 2, Please

I broke down and had some common hamburger today from an unknown source. Prions be damned, I ordered a double cheeseburger at work. And, for my opponent's benefit, I have to be perfectly precise about the exchange I had with the deli manager. He served me up this thick, juicy piece of mystery beef on a kaiser roll. I asked him the weight of each patty. "Quarter pound". "No, I mean how much did they weigh after cooked?" "We get them cooked. That's the cooked weight." "Are you sure, that weight sounds a lot like the McDonalds pre-cooked Quarter Pounder weight." "This ain't McDonalds. This is Elliot's. I'm the boss around here, and I know how much my products weigh." This conversation was, of course, all smiles, not hostile at all, as I've been getting lunch from this guy for years. So, I'm going to take the man's word for it this one time. And I'm never having a hamburger there again. (8 ounces, 395.25 total)