The Cow And I

Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Beef

I sometimes feel conflicted about beef. I crave it. I adore it. But, simultaneously, certain anxieties pervade my contemplation of a meal awaiting my consumption. Is it safe? Is it healthy? Thus, as I prepare such meals, I am invariably torn with these divergent emotions.

Indeed, I have often felt, in a sort of reverse-Nietzschean sentiment, that if this contest doesn't make me stronger, it may kill me. A few years ago, during a period of about 9 months, I had stopped exercising and begun eating less carefully. Around this time, I had been routinely checking my cholesterol. At the conclusion of the 9-month period of inactivity, I discovered that my cholesterol had jumped from 123 (LDL + HDL) to 190. This was unsettling, to say the least. So I poured my energy into a new exercise regimen, bought a bottle of fish oil pills, and drastically cut down on my red meat consumption. Yes, you might say, there is a possibility that this medical history is suggestive of future concerns.

BeefStakes is cause for concern. Red meat, between a half pound to a pound a day, for a full year. Imagine the cholesterol accumulating with every meal. It's taking up residence, staying past the winter, essentially retiring year-round in my arteries. My opponent's cardiovascular profile is no doubt similar. These emotions surge through my body, affect my will, as I contemplate open-heart surgery scars, and a lifetime of Lipitor (TM) ingestion.

But when the aroma of freshly cooked meat hits my nostrils, I forget all about those concerns. Something else takes over.

After exactly one full pound of this succulent roast (445.7 oz total), my conflicted emotions have subsided. All that remains is a torpid sense of satiety, as I pick bits of flesh from my sharp teeth.

Posted by eric at February 29, 2004 07:34 PM